


What better way to spend the evening

by 3x3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Final Haikyuu Quest, Gen, Gift Exchange, M/M, but not really important in this, for that he deserves every respect i have to give, haikyuusecretsanta2017, he survived both yaku and kuroo, i mean you can't tell me that kai doesn't have at least a tiny bit of mischief in him, that and he doesn't get nearly enough recognition in the fandom and i'm salty, third-year nekoma shenanigans kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 14:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13125399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/pseuds/3x3
Summary: than to listen to your friend question his own love lifeor alternativelyKai might not be keen on watching over a drunk Kuroo but he'll do it anyway because he is a DECENT FRIEND.





	What better way to spend the evening

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aritzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aritzen/gifts).



> how do you title
> 
> for the lovely Ritz, aka one of my biggest idols?? I'm??? dying????? please accept this smol piece of offering?????

Kai watches with a strange sense of amusement as Kuroo downs his thirteenth drink in a row that evening.

The dining pavilion is flooded with people from all ranks- from the lowest of troops to the high demon king Oikawa Tooru himself. It's their annual free-for-all night, when everyone, no matter gender, age, or title is allowed, and encouraged, to dine together. It came from sort of a direct communication route, easier for filing complaints, reports and all that, but it's really more of a mash-up party above anything else.

And instead of being social like any other sane person, he was stuck babysitting his classmate from military school, for the guy was too wasted to tell up from down and apparently Kai was somehow expected to keep him from getting into trouble.

(He wonders what is it that he'd done in his previous life that was so sinful he has to be stuck with this fate in his current life.)

Kuroo is usually far from a lightweight and is known to be able to hold in his liquor pretty well, but given the fact that what he got was pretty strong, and he'd already been distressed before the drinking started, Kai should know to anticipate the awkward gawking from around the room directed to the bawling grown man aside him (who Kai thinks pulls off his whining infant act exceptionally good).

At some point Yamamoto Taketora, _kouhai_ back from school had stopped over, asking, "What's wrong with Kuroo- _san_ now?" To which Kai replied. "He's on his period."

He doesn't think Yamamoto got the joke, judging from the blank look he received from the younger man.

Kuroo might as well as be on his period, with how emotional he is being, Kai thinks, a bit grim.

He's not really annoyed at his schoolmate. He cares for Kuroo deeply and appreciates his company ( _that is, when he's sober)_. It's just that Kai knows him a bit too well, and a drunk Kuroo is never a good sign, especially when Yaku isn't there to keep him in line.

"... _Yakkun_......" a muffled moan comes from the Kuroo-shaped disaster splayed on the table.

Kai sighed internally.

Right. Yaku Morisuke's absence was what triggered this whole endeavor in the first place.

Yaku had taken a long-term undercover mission and Kuroo had been moping like a lovesick nerd ever since.

"Kai~ _Kaiiiiiiiiiii..._ I miss Yakkuuuuuuuuuuun. I miss him sooooo much. Does he know? Does he miss me _toooooo_? Do you think he misses me?"

Correction: Kuroo had been moping _as_ an _extra whiny_ lovesick nerd ever since.

Kai doesn't know how Yaku manages to handle the embodiment of obnoxiousness- Kuroo Tetsurou, without stabbing himself in the gut every day. (Even though there were a few close calls that involved strangling of necks.)

"Say----------------------- _Kai_." Kuroo slurs incoherently, "How comes Yakkun's absent on a day like _this_? The _one day_ that everyone gets together? You know? It's our _anniversary_!"

"He's on an important mission, Kuroo." Kai tells him patiently, feeling nothing short of a parent coaxing a child. "You know that."

Kuroo whines. Kai isn't sure if he should feel exasperated at the shrill pitch or relieved that the guy hasn't choked himself to death with alcohol yet. Probably the latter. "But _stilllllllllll~_ What if he doesn't care about _me~~~~~~~~_? What if he's just trying to avoid me?" his eyes suddenly snap into focus. "Oh _shit_! What if he's breaking up with me??? What do I _do_ , _Kai_??" he grabs Kai on the shoulders abruptly.

Kai contemplates judo flipping him. Maybe if Kuroo gets knocked out he will finally stop sprouting words.

Unfortunately the long-time experience of being recognized as the designated Voice of ReasonTM prevents him from doing anything rash.

So instead he gently pries Kuroo's iron grip from his arms and smoothes his sleeves. "Calm down, Kuroo."

"Yakkun can't break up with me!! It's our anniversary! He can't!!"

"Kuroo, please." he tries.

"I _knew it_!" the man's hands somehow ended up back digging into Kai's shoulder blades, shaking him back and forth violently. "It's that little guy, right? The one he's close buddies with? The one who works directly under Shimizu? What's his name?"

Kai cuts him off mid-rant. "Nishinoya. But irrelevant. You're terrorizing the newbies." Sure enough, a number of their new recruits are regarding their table with equal parts of weary, nervousness and fear splattered on their faces. No doubt getting second thoughts about working under Kuroo and his fancy embroidered red robes.

"Yes! Nishinoya!" Kuroo doesn't seem to hear him. "He's going to flee from Seijoh with Nishinoya and settle down somewhere warm in Karasuno and adopt a bunch of adorable children and puppies and I'll never see Yakkun again, left with only my memories to weep over-"

Over the commotion of the dinner party, Nishinoya Yuu's energetic voice rings out loud and clear. " _Morisuke-_ kun! Welcome back!!"

Kai has never seen someone's head snap so suddenly towards the sound of a simple name. " _Wha- Yakkun_?"

He follows Kuroo's star-struck gaze and there at the end of the view stands no other than Yaku Morisuke, assassination specialist, master of deception. Titles achieved without a single trace of magic nor a sturdy heritage to lean on. A legend among new troops. Kai and Kuroo's schoolmate. Kai cannot recall a time when Yaku looked closer to a celestial angel, here to save humanity from destruction, or in this case, save Kai's poor tormented soul from the horrors that is Yaku's drunk boyfriend.

Kai meets Yaku's eyes from across the room, and with one look, he can tell that Yaku immediately catches on with the situation. He believes it's the dreadful cry for help distilled in the depths of his eyes that gives it away.

Nonetheless Yaku starts to make his way towards the table where Kuroo has fallen back into a state of unconsciousness, only stopping once in a while to greet welcoming comrades.

"Hey." Yaku acknowledges Kai with a smile when he is close enough. "Sorry about..." he gestures vaguely at an unmoving Kuroo. "Him."

"I would really like to say it's no hassle if it weren't this much of a torture." he answers without missing a beat, a smile of his own slipping on mischievously. "It's sweet that you refer to him as yours to handle. Does he know that? It would make his day."

And Kai would be lying if he says he doesn't feel a slimmer of satisfaction when he notices Yaku blush madly. "Help me keep that a secret. He'd never let me live it down."

He grins good-naturedly. "Sure thing. Do you need help carrying the over-sized luggage back to your dorms, or is it too private to intrude upon? Particular things you don't want people to see?"

"Nothing of the sort, I assure you." Yaku splutters, much to Kai's delight. "But I can manage it by myself, thank you very very much."

"If you say so." he lets it drop. "Welcome back, Yaku."

His friend's gaze softens. "It's nice to finally be home."

"Yakkun...?" Kuroo chooses that moment to stir, barely lifting his head and squinting at his boyfriend like he isn't sure how to focus on reality. "Don't break up with me......"

Yaku slings an arm around the taller man's waist and hoists him up. For a guy with a small build, he is surprisingly strong. "No one is breaking up with anyone, Kuroo."

"So you're _not_ abandoning me and running off to Karasuno?" Kuroo scrunches up his eyebrows in a hazy confusion.

"I'm not." Yaku assures him. "Where'd you get the idea that I can survive without you?"

The overjoyed look blooming on Kuroo's face is instant. So is the crazy blood rush up in Yaku's face.

Kai throws a knowing look. _Since when did he turn into such a sap?_ Yaku flashes back an admittedly well-deserved death-glare.

"Good night, Yaku." he calls behind the man entangled in a three legged race with a half-knocked out rag doll.

Kai smirks into his glass discreetly as he catches the sight of Yaku waving behind his back.

* * *

 

Bonus:

"...Yakkun?"

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Yaku cringes slightly.

"No..."

"Sorry." he says again.

"Don't be." Kuroo shakes his head, sitting up hesitantly.

Yaku laughs softly, and Kuroo giggles upon hearing the endearing sound he has come to love. "Happy anniversary." Yaku whispers.

He feels his eyes widen. "You remember?"

Yaku rolls his eyes. "Of course. Why else do you think I'm here?"

"You're sappier than usual." he comments.

"I don't think you're clear-headed enough to tell."

Kuroo lets out a ghost of a smile. "Happy anniversary, Yakkun."

"Happy anniversary." the other man echoes happily.

**Author's Note:**

> I know absolutely nothing about getting drunk at parties being the introverted underage nerd I am but whatever.  
> MERRY CHRISTMAS YO


End file.
